Be the motivation someone else needs
Everyone always says you are your worst critique and I will have to agree. I am learning that if you have the right mindset and put forth the effort, you can achieve your goals. It also helps when someone that you admire is doing something you only dreamed of doing. You thought you would never be able to do it so you never even tried. That is what happened to me. I was stuck in a fixed mindset, as in the book "Mindset" by Carol S. Dweck, Ph.D. describes as follows...
What is the definition of a fixed mindset? A fixed mindset describes children (and adults) who believe their intelligence, talents and personalities are fixed traits that cannot grow. They believe we are born with a certain level of ability (or special skills) and we are unable to improve our level abilities over time. On the other hand, someone with a fixed mindset views those same traits as inherently stable and unchangeable over time.
The problem is I already knew this information, but I wanted so badly not to be a fixed mindset person. I didn't know how to get out of my own way. When I read the book, I realized I needed to change in order to understand my purpose in life.
I struggle everyday with growth. So here are a few tools in my toolbox.
I have on my phone some checklists that keep me in line whenever I feel myself back away from growth. When you have that mindset, the hand you are dealt is just a starting point for personal growth, not just who you were born as.. By changing your vision of effort and failure, you can design a whole new approach to your life.
Remember the concept of neuroplasticity. There is lots of research showing your brain’s structure is not fixed. Your mind should not be fixed either.
Appreciate the process over the results. It’s all about the learning process. Don’t worry too much about the actual result, make sure you learn as much as possible.
Acknowledge your weaknesses. Ignoring your weaknesses means that you’ll never manage to improve. Acknowledging and embracing your imperfections also means you know which ones you want to work on.
Cultivate your sense of purpose. According to Carol Dweck’s research, people with a growth mindset have a greater sense of purpose. Keep asking “why” and think about the meaning of your work.
Don’t say failing, say learning. Shift your vision of failure. If you fall short of a goal or make a mistake, don’t see it as a failure—make it a learning opportunity.
Value effort over talent. Stop chasing the reputation of someone who is “naturally smart.” First, genius requires work. Second, you won’t be perceived as smart if you’re not willing to put the work in.
Consider challenges as opportunities. Challenges are an opportunity for self-improvement. Tackle them, and whether you succeed or fail, make sure to learn as much as possible.
Place growth before speed. It takes time to learn. Learning fast doesn’t mean learning well, and learning well requires allowing time for mistakes. Think realistically about time and effort it will require to acquire a new skill. Don’t expect to master everything in one sitting.
Do not chase other people’s approval. When you prioritise approval over learning, you sacrifice your own potential for growth.
View criticism as a gift. Related—don’t wait for constructive criticism. Analyze all criticism. Do not let it destroy you, see it as a useful data point.
Celebrate actions, not attributes. Give yourself a pat on the back when you did something smart—not just when you were being smart and relying on your previous knowledge.
Grow with others. If you have a growth mindset, you may want to share and celebrate your progress with others. Learn from other people’s mistakes, take risks with them. Don’t try to look your best, show how hard you’re willing to work and how comfortable you are with experimenting.
Take the time to reflect. Either once a day, once a week, or once a month, use journaling and metacognition techniques to reflect on your personal growth trajectory.
Cultivate perseverance. Grit and determination will help you overcome challenges. Remind yourself of all the times you managed to deal with a particularly tough situation. You can do it again.
Use the “not yet” technique. Carol Dweck says adding “not yet” to any fixed mindset statement is a great way to reframe your thought processes. When you’re struggling, just remind yourself that you haven’t mastered that skill… Yet.
I have a bad habit of getting into my own head and my own ways. I know this is a task I need to work on in order for personal growth. I have to remind myself often that we need goals, and motivation to push us into actually growing and having a better mindset will often times change the outlook.
But I also look at it like this... if someone is looking up to me, and they are seeing me doing the same things that they aspire to do, just maybe it will give them the courage too also.
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